Me: Frank O’Connor is totally Scottish-ing.
Ross Adams: pfffffft, he’s less scottish than me!
Me: It’s hilarious, he’s slipping eeeeever so slightly.
Ross Adams: I don’t even know what his accent is anymore
Me: Scenglish?
Ross Adams: Racist
Me: Masturbator.
Ross Adams: Accurate
This is something I have no idea how to do yet. I’m a huge fan of Achievement Hunter and one of my sort of… “This probably will never happen but I’m going to try for it anyways and feign confidence” goals would be to make videos for them. Or for Roosterteeth in general. For the moment, I’ve only just last night made my first ever video. It’s… It’s a video!
Things can only go up from here! Right now I’m trying to think of cool ideas for original videos that don’t include reviews. I like Let’s Plays, but I’d have to make them funny, and I honestly think without a second person at least Let’s Plays aren’t funny. As for solo content, I’ve got about three different “series” sort of ideas, kind of like… sketch videos except with video games, so some sort of entertaining video that’s not just… look at the footage. And also not just a review. We’ll see. I hope it’s awesome.
Well I sure haven’t made a post in a couple days! My bad, I’ve been busy doing this and this. Spelunky is a mighty fantastic game but my gosh is it difficult to guide for. I really wish my editing software wasn’t craptastic because I’d love to make some awesome videos for Spelunky. Not just Let’s Play style videos, but guide ones for the sight such as how to deal with Olmec. Actually that’s all I can really think to show off, that an maybe the Alien Queen or Anubis II, but then again I haven’t been to Hell yet. I’m sure everything in Hell just fires lasers at you until your controller overheats and explodes in your hands. In fact, I bet if you have Kinect, not only would it gain sentience, it would immediately post every single embarrassing photo of you, and somehow use its amazing technology to ensure that you’re naked in each picture. That or it would just fire a huge ray beam through your face. The point is, this game is fucking hard.
That said, I love it to absolute tiny bits. One of my favorite game genres is roguelikes because being in love with the game doesn’t have to stop at the end and it’s not marred by the behaviors of other people (ala multiplayer games). It’s a game I can sit down and play for as long as I’d like, knowing full well the game’s capability to kick my ass and how every single thing works (well most of it), and still have something new to do every time I start it up. Sure you can have a game with an amazing story you play once, and you love it for that, or a multiplayer game that’s fun or competitive or social, but there’s something about man versus game that’s just so satisfying. Games like Dark Souls piss me off, they’re entirely designed to make you mad, they’re designed to make your game difficult and frustrating to play. Spelunky is far more pure, it simply has mechanics that work, and they require you to deal with them or avoid them in any way you see fit, but they will not go out of their way to fuck you. Certain enemies, yes, but the game controls with such silk-skin smoothness that you never have to fight the game, you only need to perform with excellence. Aristotle would love Spelunky. As do I.
Even if some of the strings of profanities I’ve belted at this game are among the lengthiest, most offensive and least coherent I’ve spoken in a long fucking time.
I almost exclusively play Diablo III with friends. We always Skype and chat it up, talk about all sorts of shit. Really that’s my favorite aspect of my Xbox 360, so regardless of how I feel about Diablo III as a game, there’s always room in my library for a great social game.
I won’t prattle on too long on the subject, but the level generation in Spelunky is fucking amazing. I haven’t gotten my hands on the XBLA one yet ’cause it’s not out/we haven’t gotten codes (and I wouldn’t be able to say anything if I did) but even the PC one just has such genuine diversity in what it offers. I love fighting games (this is not a tangent, I assure you!) because you have to learn the system to enjoy them. You can’t just learn characters or combos, you have to learn how to play the game at its deepest level. Most platformers have this same quality, but they simply require some practice with execution and timing. Spelunky has that because indeed it is a platformer, but since every single time you play the game you can only know what exists, rather than what you will actually find, thus all you can do is be prepared. That’s so fucking amazing, you’re left with only so competent an ability to complete the game each time, no matter what sometimes you’ll encounter something you were not prepared for, even if you know about it. And beyond that, for everything you don’t know, you learn something every time you die. That infinite acquisition of knowledge (small in its scope though it may be) makes Spelunky amazing, it makes you want to go back. If ever there were a game that delivered on the idea of adventuring, it’s Spelunky.
Hit the jump if you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about.
“Please escort me out of here! I will pay anything!”
“Keep complaining, and I will escort you to the nearest catapult. The demons will know true fear when they see your fat carcass hurtling down on them.”
Where is this hilarious writing in the story? The wit, the biting, snide remarks that only show up ever so briefly in the story are so lavishly distributed throughout all the unimportant things. Talking with NPCs, with your companions and with the main story characters is infinitely more engaging than any of the trite, predictable narrative throughout the plot. Nothing is interesting! None of it! Here’s the main plot: HURDUR DEMONS! They couldn’t have got more inventive than… there are bad people… and worse people… and the worst person… So you kill them all. The betrayal, the new companions, the Angels, it’s all so obvious! I loved the voice acting in this game, it’s so frustrating that there wasn’t more interesting things to be said by them.
In any case, anyone who plays Diablo III should genuinely listen to all the additional dialogue from each of the characters, on average it’s all waaay more interesting than anything story-related.
On the way to work today I saw someone chilling at a stop light, as we all must from time to time. The moment the light turns, this person guns it into the intersection and throws their fucking coffee cup out the window.
What the fuck? What? WHY? Why would you DO that!? Why would you litter, and literally try to run-drive away? Like you’re clearly a-fucking-shamed of your littering, you clearly know you shouldn’t be doing it and that the fine is some $300 in this part of California. I don’t understand, is your car so filled to the brim with used coffee cups that you couldn’t take it? “This is it! No more coffee cups!”, is that what it was? Does your house not have a trashcan? No trashcan at your destination? I don’t understand, there are zero excuses. Even if that fucking cup had a bomb in it, you should at least throw it away somewhere that’s not a super-populated intersection. I mean those parts of the street are what lead to gutters or the freeway!
Geezus.
